Barbra Gentry-Pugh

The Heartbeat of Navigating the Many Faces of Grief & Loss

November 10, 2024

“He will listen to the prayers of the destitute. He will not reject their pleas.” Psalm 102:17 (NLT)

^“For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.” Philippians 3:20 (NASB)

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NASB)

After attending my friend Coach Carol’s anointed and transparent “Let the Healing Begin Grief Support Workshop,” I felt deeply challenged as I reflected on the many facets of grief and loss that touch our lives. I thought about the sorrow so many feel, not only from personal losses but also from witnessing the state of society, the division, injustice, and moral decay that have affected our nation, communities, and family structures.

This shared grief speaks to our yearning for God’s kingdom and His peace to fill the earth in the face of humanism, secularism, and many forms of idolatry. As I pondered the insights from the workshop, I also focused on the powerful moments of prayer and the invitation to bring these concerns to God, trusting in His ultimate plan for honest identification, healing, and restoration. He calls us to be agents of hope and light amid darkness.

I was reminded of a passage shared with me over ten years ago by Lollie Pearson, a dear friend now with the Lord, which resonates with me today. The following writing is attributed to Walter Ciszek, a Jesuit priest who endured 23 years in Soviet captivity, including time in Siberian labor camps. His profound faith and reflections on suffering are encapsulated in his book He Leadeth Me, where he emphasizes God’s presence in adversity and trusting in God’s providence through all trial and loss, pain and grief, and our unwavering trust in God’s sovereignty amidst suffering. It emphasizes that every trial passes through God’s will, serving a divine purpose even if it’s not immediately understood. He writes:

“There is nothing, no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can touch me until first, it has gone through God the Father past Jesus Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to panic, as I lift up my eyes to Him, and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose or blessing to my own heart. It may pierce me, hurt me, even make me cry, but no sorrow will ever overcome me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will ever cause me to doubt the goodness of God, for I shall rest in the joy, of who my Lord is.”

Then, I was immediately reminded of what the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans chapter 8, from Eugene H. Peterson in the Message Bible, reminding us of who we are as Believers in Christ and a citizen of heaven. The question for us as Believers in Christ is this: What are you doing on earth to build the kingdom of God? Our allegiance and obedience must be to the true and living GOD – not to a MAN or WOMAN!

Romans 8:31-39. So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing Himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else He wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us, who was raised to life for us, is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing, nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable – absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. (MSG)

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NASB)

Grief and loss are a part of the human experience, one that goes beyond the loss of a loved one. We encounter both in different forms as we move through life, and each type carries its own challenges and need for healing.

We suffer grief from various forms of loss in our lives. There are other losses, too than the loss of a love one. We may also lose a house, by fire or wind. We may lose a car, by accident or theft. We may lose our job, lose our church, or lose any number of things important to us. It may be a loss or a separation from someone important to us. Separation or loss means we no longer have a vital, ongoing, living relationship with this person-only memories. We no longer can talk with this person, hug or kiss this person, hold hands or walk down the street with this person, or do any of the many wonderful activities with this person. There is also a loss of dreams!

How Do You Deal With Losses in Your Lives?

Don’t deny your loss. Great grief is the result of great love. The tears of Jesus at Lazarus’s death forever validate our tears of grief in John 11:30-36, Then Jesus wept!
Grief from loss is a process that must not be denied or hurried. The rituals of wakes, visitations, funerals, and memorial services all help us move through the stages of grief. Genesis 50:1-13. There was a period of national mourning for seventy days.
Losses always bring pain. Recognizing and expressing that pain is not wrong or sinful, but rather a healthy expression of how God created us. Job 1:14-22.
As we grieve our losses, we must be careful not to “medicate” our pain with that which will only create more pain. 2 Samuel 11:1-5.
Believers grieve with God, where there is hope. Unbelievers grieve without God, the source of greatest hope. Lamentations 3:18-25. “I cry out, “My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the LORD is lost!” The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.” (NLT)
It is important to grieve but recognize our grieving does not last forever. One day we will be with God in heaven where all grief will be gone forever. Hebrews 10:34. You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail. When all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew you had better things waiting for you in eternity.

HEART CHALLENGE: God’s Prescription ~ When You Feel Like You Have Lost Everything – Where Can You Turn?

Turn to God in times of loss, for He alone can give you hope.

Psalm 34:18. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 31:9-10. Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress. My sight is blurred because of my tears. My body and soul are withering away. I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Misery has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within.

Psalm 56:8. You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

Turn to God’s word in times of loss, for there you will find God’s wisdom.

Psalm 119:28. I weep with grief; encourage me by Your word.

Turn to God’s people in times of loss, for they can give you God’s counsel.

2 Corinthians 1:4. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

In the darkness of grief, we can turn to the Lord, who promises his comfort and strength.

Psalm 23:4. Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

Isaiah 53:3- 7. God demonstrates his love for us by being willing to experience all our griefs and sorrows. It was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down.

A HEALING HEART: In times of loss, turn to the Word of God for HELP! God fills us with His blessings-comfort, joy, songs of praise, thanksgiving, and mercy. When we cry out for someone to touch us, God will hold us close.

Psalm 10:17. Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them.

Psalm 102:17. He will listen to the prayers of the destitute. He will not reject their pleas.

Lamentations 3:32. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love.

2 Corinthians 1:3. All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us.

Matthew 5:4. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Psalm 147:3. He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.

Psalm 30:11-12. You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

PRAYER: Father God, thank You for Your authoritative and inspired Word that provides us with clear instructions on how we can follow Your prescriptions for grief and loss in our lives. Help us to always remember as children of God that nothing can ever separate us from Your love. Teach us to obey all the commands You have given us, remembering You are always with us, even to the end of the age. Help us to remember that when we trust in You Father, we will never lose. Your love and presence which are the two greatest gifts to see us through life’s difficulties. Help us to remember our concerns of today, our worries about tomorrow, that even the powers of hell can’t keep Your love from us. Help us to always check with You, the Creator of the universe, the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, knowing YOU are still on the throne, in the Precious, Powerful, and Preeminent name of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord, Amen.