Barbra Gentry-Pugh

“Let’s Talk About It – How Communication Shapes Our Mental Health”

May 4, 2025

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 (NASB)

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 (NASB)

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6 (NIV)

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, established in 1949 to acknowledge and increase awareness of the importance of mental health and wellness in the lives of Americans and celebrate recovery from mental illness. This week, I wanted to reflect on how we communicate with God, with ourselves, and with others, and how our words and silence alike impact our mental health. While much attention is given to anxiety, depression, and emotional resilience, many often overlook a powerful contributor to mental health, which is communication.

After working in behavioral health for over 20 years and recently studying the importance of good communication from a biblical perspective, I’ve been reminded of a powerful truth: the words we speak, and the ones we hold back, can either build bridges of healing or deepen emotional wounds. This matters deeply to me because I have an insatiable passion for understanding how unresolved emotional and spiritual issues not only affect our mental well-being but can also lead to physical illness. Poor communication is often a significant part of that equation. When we don’t address how we express ourselves or how we respond to others, it can silently damage our health and keep us stuck in cycles of emotional and spiritual pain.

Research shows that poor communication not only strains our relationships but can also increase stress and even lead to physical health problems. But let’s make it personal, what does your way of communicating say about what’s going on inside your heart? Is it shaped by peace, patience, and grace? Or do you notice signs of stress, fear, or even avoidance in how you respond to others? Colossians 4:6 reminds us, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Scripture has much to say about the words we speak, and those we withhold can either build bridges of healing or deepen wounds. Also, poor communication, whether marked by harsh words, avoidance, or misunderstandings, can lead to stress, isolation, and emotional turmoil. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”, which is a striking truth that what we say, and how we say it, has the power to either uplift or damage someone’s spirit, including our own. I like how the MSG translation says it, ^“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose.”

Our tongue is a powerful tool, capable of giving life through words that uplift, encourage, and share the gospel. But it can also be misused to tear down, wound, and even drive others away from God, making it an instrument of destruction. Though small, typically weighing only 2.5 to 3.5 ounces, the tongue is one of the most potent weapons in the world. Uniquely, it’s the only muscle in the body that functions without skeletal support. It’s incredibly flexible, has a unique print like a fingerprint, and holds thousands of taste buds. Beyond its physical features, the tongue plays a crucial role in how we speak, taste, and communicate, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In a Psychology Today article https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/202304/can-poor-communication-in-relationships-harm-our?utm

The author explored the key points:

♥ Negative communication styles can slow wound healing and increase inflammation.

♥ Poor communication in relationships is a stressor to the body, and, when chronic, can have adverse health consequences.

♥ Healthy communication habits in relationships are associated with lower inflammation and swifter wound healing.

“Let’s Talk About It”

♥ How does your communication reflect the condition of your heart? Luke 6:45. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

♥ Are you quick to listen and slow to speak, especially in emotionally charged moments? James 1:19 says we are to be “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

♥ Do you speak words that bring healing, or do you sometimes use words that are hurtful, exposing what is damaging to one’s character, or shut people down? Proverbs 12:18 reminds us that “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

What are the Side Effects of Poor and Damaging Communication?

♥ Poor communication can lead to a lack of control, quarrels, evil, and foolishness. The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

James 3:2-12. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring (NLT)

2 Timothy 2:14. Remind everyone of these things, and command them in God’s name to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them.

2 Timothy 2:23. Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights.

Psalm 56:5. They are always twisting what I say; they spend their days plotting ways to harm me.

Proverbs 26:6. Trusting a fool to convey a message is as foolish as cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison!

James 3:9-12. “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can saltwater produce fresh.” (NASB)

Proverbs 26:6. “Trusting a fool to convey a message is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison!” (NLT)

YOUR HEART CHALLENGE: We must consistently examine how we communicate with others, especially with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Colossians 3:8 says, “But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. (NLT) No ‘filthy communication’ should escape from the lips of a Believer in Christ. James 1:19 reminds us, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” When we speak in anger, we fail to show God’s love. Whether speaking to a family member or a stranger, our communication should always come forth in a loving manner. When we demean and misrepresent others, our testimony is damaged, as is the name of Jesus Christ, when His people fail to guard their tongues.

The best way to be sure what comes from our mouths is pure is to be aware of what is in our hearts. As Jesus reminded the Pharisees, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” If our hearts are filled with ungodliness, it will eventually come forth in our speech, no matter how hard we try to restrain it. Of course, our most important communication to man should be the fulfillment of Matthew 28:19-20 as we communicate the gospel of Jesus Christ to a world that desperately needs to hear it. How many people have you shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with? The command was not a suggestion; it was a command!

A HUMBLE HEART: God designed us for connection. Healthy, honest, and grace-filled communication reflects the heart and promotes mental and emotional well-being. But when communication breaks down, relationships fracture, and our inner peace is often the first casualty. As believers, we’re called to communicate in a way that reflects Christ, speaking truth in love, noted in Ephesians 4:15, being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger in James 1:19.

PRAYER:  Father God, thank You for Your authoritative, inerrant, and inspired Word that gives us the gift of communication. You spoke the world into existence, and Your Word continues to bring life and light to our souls. Help us to represent You well in the way we speak and listen. Heal the places in my heart where communication has wounded us and teach us to use our words as tools of healing and peace, and never to harm. May we be quick to listen, slow to speak, and sensitive to the emotional, mental, and spiritual needs of those around us. Let our communication promote unity, not division, hope, and not despair. And above all, help me to guard my heart, so that what flows from it glorifies You, in the Precious, Powerful, and Preeminent name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. Amen.